PurpAnd

What can I say about 2009? Not my favorite year, but there are some good things to be taken from it. I’ll leave it at that and open my eyes, heart, and mind for good things to reach me in 2010. Happy New Year everyone.

I have an interesting habit while typing… I use all the fingers of my left hand, but just the index finger of my right hand. (Dwight Shrute would enjoy this, as he has said before, “In an ideal world I would have all 10 fingers on my left hand so I could save my right hand for punching.”) I suspect my right hand laziness leads to errors including one very embarrasing one… mispelling my own name.

It comes out as Amdu, which is a cool name don’t get me wrong, but it ain’t mine. I’d say that I mispell my name as frequently as any other word and when you are sending electronic correspondence in a professional setting, it’s not cool to mispell your own name. Thank God for spell-check.

I’ve long prided myself as someone who can see the brighter side of things… I’ve thought of myself as a generally happy person. And I have good reason to - I’m safe, healthy, loved - but lately it seems all that hasn’t been enough.

Part of me would like to publish a list of things that have happened to me in 2009 that I would never like to experience again. The opposite part of me knows of a happier list of things that have been tremendous. But I feel less connection with those happy things and more enveloped by the unhappy ones. Examples…

I broke my leg two weeks ago. I waited through the weekend so that I can follow the health insurance rules and see my primary care physician. After being referred to an orthopedics specialist, I was provided with an immobilizing leg brace apparently from an outside-the-network provider. So, I received a letter in the mail yesterday from my health insurance stating the brace won’t be covered. The letter actually says, “the service requested is being denied because there is lack of medical necessity.” It later says, “you do not meet the established guidelines for the service at this time.” Nice. So I guess a broken leg does not represent medical necessity. I wonder what does? If I were to have had a severed limb repaired by the Emergency Room would the insurance company have jumped on me for not seeing my primary care physician first?

Example 2 - Tiger Woods. Come on, man. How many people do you think he has disappointed? Other than his immediate family, whom I have sympathy for, he probably lost 100 million fans in the span of two weeks. I don’t mean fans in the sense of his golf game (I still enjoy his golf talent), but fans of him as a person. What an image he has been able to maintain for the past… well, nearly his entire life. Imagine the effort he has had to expend to be so likable. I am sure he will eventually be forgiven by many, but I know someone who is devastated by this series of events.

I had lunch with my dad yesterday and he admitted that he has in fact become jaded. I haven’t known my dad to be jaded about anything in his life, so to me that is saying something. Tiger Woods has been golf’s version of The One since he hit mainstream 15 or so years ago. He has been my generation’s Jack Nicklaus. And for those who watched Jack play for years and years, they know/knew in Tiger there was someone that likely will not be seen for generations to come. This, I fear, is an image Tiger may never have again. We’ll just have to see how his golf game is affected, how long he stays away, where he plays, etc. I believe Tiger is doing the right thing focusing on his family and staying private. This needs to be his biggest concern… once that is settled, he can again focus on less important things like golf and endorsements.

Example 3. Relationships and break-ups are hard. I have not written much about my split from T on here for two reasons: I still care for her as a person and as a result want to protect her privacy, and I have readers who know both of us. So, I try not to generate too much one-sidedness by writing about our divorce on here. The more I think about this break-up though, and it’s been nearly six months since she moved out, the more sour I become on relationships in general. I recently read something by someone who had been married for three months in his early 20s, got divorced, and vowed never to marry again. He’s now 38 and still single. I don’t want to be that guy, but I understand the appeal. After living as a single person for the past six months I appreciate the freedom, but I haven’t gotten over the loneliness. I’ve been busy, which is good since it serves as a distraction, but as I asked my coworker earlier today, “what do I do when there are no more distractions?” I don’t want to endure something like this again so why put myself into the position where I could.

In a time when most people are celebrating with their friends and family, I find myself increasingly focused on the negative whereas the old me would have no trouble pushing aside the bad. I miss that part of me and need to work hard to keep from sliding into this tarpit of cynicism.

Woah, did I just say that? I’m embarrassed to admit it, but it’s true. Well maybe not love love, but like love. I listen to it in the car, at work, at home… I fear it’s an obsession. That’s ok though cuz you know how when you find something new (new car, new food, new love interest) you just want to be with it all the time? Right, well that’s how I feel about country music (still can’t believe this is happening).

Until recently, whenever I was asked what music I liked to listen to I would respond with, “anything but country.” As if it was a disease, a bubonic plague of aural origin. I hated country music so much that I would rather listen to oldies on my car radio that only received AM and the local country radio station.

I had (and still have) good friends who love country music… I remained friends with them against my better musical judgment. I have step-siblings who are country fans, one of whom epitomizes Country. I live in an area where country music is likely the most popular genre and I’ve fought it for 20 years. Not anymore, I have succumb.

It happened when I bought my truck after moving back to Sacramento. The previous owner had a few stations on the presets - 98 Rock, cool. NPR, good. And KNCI, the local country station. The particular radio in my truck is an after-market component and I have no clue (still don’t) how to change the presets. I listen to 98 Rock quite a bit, but when commercials come on I go searching for my 4-minute replacement tunes. The country station is the next one up the dial.

While out for work one day, 98 Rock went to commercial and I switched the radio up one notch. Carrie Underwood’s ‘Cowboy Casanova’ was on and it was jammin’ (have you guys heard that tune? Solid.) Well I left the radio on that station for the rest of the song and kept it there until I got home an hour later. I listened to some Gary Allan, Keith Urban, Eric Church… all good stuff.

I’ve created a country music station in Pandora that competes for play time with my Weezer and Owl City stations. I’m even beginning to be able to identify some of the country artists by voice. I never would have thought this day would come, but in life you have to expect surprises. So, I guess you can count me a country music fan. Oh, and count me a Carrie Underwood fan too… she’s purty.