Warning: Topping Off May Cause Spillage
A while ago I wrote about babies - making them, having them, and holding them. We had two couple-friends who were due and I am happy to report that both young ones were born healthy and hungry.
In that post, I discussed a certain friend of mine who was asking about our kid prospects. We had none, and still don’t, but that didn’t stop him from being so excited about babies and his (or his wife’s) little fetus in particular, that his excitement caused my computer to crash.
Sadly, the baby was not born a boy, and my hopes for a freshly minted ‘Ronald’ in this world were dashed. Instead they have a beautiful (takes after her mother) baby girl named Bridie (Bridget).
My friend is an ecstaticly proud father and I’ve had a few convos with him since the birthday on December 12th. The following is the most recent one, nearly verbatim:
Friend: I got barfed on last night, BIG TIME
me: oh no
i cant be around that
i’ll do it too
Friend: like more than a garden hose
me: ish
Friend: its different when its all milk
doesn’t smell bad
me: right
maybe since its your kid, it doesnt smell
kinda like how people enjoy the smell of their own odors
Friend: its true- diapers don’t stink either.
they say it starts smelling when you switch to formula- or go to real food
me: ahh ok
parameciums
Friend: exactrly
me: so did you take a picture of it?
Friend: no way- I was covered
me: haha mud football style
Friend: all over my chest and pants
me: ew
Friend: shot out like a cannon
me: how could one little critter produce that much
sounds like you overfilled
Friend: thats what I think
me: like a gas tank
never top off
they should tell you that at the hospital
or in the baby books
Friend: no kidding
This little episode is very telling about a lot of things.
1) Parents have unconditional love for their children
2) There is no way any baby book can tell you everything you need to know about babies
3) Once a parent, you apparently gain an increased threshold for grossness
and 4) My friends aren’t as quick-thinking as I would hope… gotta take a picture of that mess!
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